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"Win the war before the first battle," advises Sun Tzu, China's famed Taoist warrior-philosopher in The Art of War, the world's oldest military treatise. Writing twenty-five hundred years ago during China's "Warring States" era, Master Sun explains how to avoid bloodshed by secretly acquiring information about your enemy before the first battle. The Art of War is also a lesson in ethics, teaching us that worthy goals create high morale assuring victory, thus warranting the exceptional means suggested in our adaptation of Master Sun's ethical philosophy. The Tao of Divorce teaches that the goal of the warrior is to win economic or political victory, not to destroy the enemy. Readers will forego a scorched-earth policy once they realize peace is more profitable than war. As Sun Tzu said, "Waging a war of total destruction is counter-productive."
The Tao of Divorce demonstrates that women are competent, skilled combatants in the Taoist tradition. The very traits that females learn in our culture--submissiveness and humility, are effective in overcoming the "male" traits of aggression and self-aggrandizement, making women better suited for divorce warfare. Sun Tzu said to "Investigate and plan before moving to the open battlefield, thus minimizing harm to self and the opponent." Successful woman warriors are cautious, moving invisibly through enemy territory, gathering strategic information, building alliances, and assessing the enemy's strengths and weaknesses.
The outcome of your divorce will benefit from the parallels drawn from Sun Tzu. You will master the qualities of the Sage Ruler who defines goals, and the Sage Warrior who implements those goals. As Sage Ruler and Warrior, you will choose the best lawyer and therapist, negotiate your marital agreement, and avoid the common pitfalls and traps for the unwary. You also gain an encyclopedic knowledge of the legal aspects of divorce by studying our expansive divorce law dictionary found in Appendix B.
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Divorce books generally set forth a detailed explanation of each aspect of divorce in linear, non-holistic fashion, but often ignore pre-divorce planning and underlying psychological issues. They teach only what to expect once a divorce is underway; however, the crucial early process outlined here-- along with an annotated divorce law dictionary--helps women maintain their control over all of the stages of their divorce. Sun Tzu said,
Do what is difficult while it is still easy;
do what is great while it is still small.Intelligence gathering and planning are "difficult," but if completed before filing for divorce, they are "still easy" since upon announcing an open declaration of war, you forever lose the tactical advantage of intimacy--wars are won or lost based on early reconnaissance. Following our step-by-step guide, including the exhaustive list of documents in Appendix A, will help you obtain the whole picture of your marital estate, thus ensuring fairness, removing unpleasant surprises, saving money on legal fees, and creating greater certainty of the outcome. Most importantly, you will feel less traumatized by the proceedings, and feel better about yourself.
Despite our militant terminology and analogies, we strive for less hostile proceedings to minimize suffering by listening to Sun Tzu who said:
Anger and greed are the fundamental causes of defeat.
Across the millennia, Sun Tzu's advice is the boldest approach to a late twentieth century war between the most dangerous adversaries--the men and women who were once in love. We hope Sun Tzu inspires more women to marshal their resources--tangible and intangible--before the first shot. When financial and emotional resources are depleted during months, and sometimes years of divorce litigation, the war is lost. The Tao of Divorce uses Sun Tzu's philosophy and advice to enlighten, educate, entertain, and inspire divorce combatants. The timeless quality of his advice has inspired military leaders for millennia. Now you can stand in the shoes of these victorious leaders.